“Bisexual Tendencies”

So I get out of the shower today to a string of text messages from my best friend (biff) who is currently living in France.

“Hey are you busy?”

“Heeeeeeeey”

“I’m gonna spam you”

which then turned into…

“I need to gossip. And you’re the only one I can gossip to about this!”

“For the love of all things holy”

“I’m drunk and I need you”

It’s safe to say that I was a little concerned. Especially because biff is not the type of person to ever say the words “I need you”. It’s funny how we found each other – two people who are terrible at communicating have been best friends for 17 years.

Anyways, turns out. There’s this girl who biff has a crush on and it’s totally cool – we’ve known biff was bisexual for years now. However, it’s so difficult to tell whether this girl is flirting with biff because she gets touchy when she has alcohol or if she is also into the lady regions.

Which brings me to this rant of the land of spectrums. I love love love that society is moving towards being more open. But can we just discuss that it is so incredibly difficult to understand whether someone is bisexual or just has “bisexual tendencies?” I am not condemning them whatsoever – hell, I definitely get my fair share of lady crushes. However, I love the men. But I also enjoy making out with biff every now and then. It’s a confusing world we live in. I feel so terrible that biff has to worry about whether kissing this girl is going to scare the living bejesus out of her. How does one ask someone if it’s cool to kiss them? You don’t want to worry about ruining a friendship.

Yes, I know. “If they were a true friend, it shouldn’t matter and they should just take the compliment and move on.” But that’s not how it always goes. Especially when you’re living in France and your choice of American friends is pretty small. But basically, does anyone have any advice on how to approach this? The girl knows that biff is bisexual. And this girl holds her hand and cuddles but it hasn’t gone further than that. How does one tell if it’s just normal girl touchy-feely crap or if it’s more than that? Can she just ask her straight out or is that coming on too strong?

End rant. All is cool.

Stick to your roots,

Southern Charm

Growing Pains

It’s been a year and a half since I’ve been on this thing. And let me tell you, a year and a half has changed a lot. I’m freaking graduating in four months. What?

Since Fall 2014, I’ve been heartbroken, failed some tests, ruined friendships, and yelled. A lot. But I’ve also been in love, aced some classes, made some new friends, and smiled. A lot more.

I’m not even sure what I want to say right now. Words are becoming harder and harder to come by. As I’ve become more of an adult (adult?), I should have more to say. I should have some great wisdom to leave for the world. All I got is this. GROWING UP BLOWS.

Did you know how taxes work? Because I have learned. Do you know the downsides of loans? Debt. Did you know that debt does, indeed, blow? It does.

I have no words. I have no wisdom. I do know that as someone who is still suffering from depression and anxiety and an eating disorder, I have survived the last year and a half. Sometimes it has been hell. But I am surviving. And let me tell you, it has been survival.

And completely worth it.

So keep on, my friends. Keep waking up too early in the morning. Keep crying into that pillow of yours. Keep having the scary moments of life. Because sometimes, you get those great moments. The ones we live for. The ones we survive for. The ones that remind us what we will be losing if we give up too early in the game. I will if you will.

Keep on.

Keep to your roots,

Southern Charm