The name of this blog is pretty irrelevant now. I graduated from my beloved Southern school and have moved back to the North for graduate school. But I still say y’all and have a bit of twang when I say “Oh, my goodness!” I’d say that might be charming. Maybe.
But where I am still isn’t home. It’s new. In fact, it’s the capital of the state. And man, it’s big. I’ve never lived somewhere this big. Sometimes, I have to drive 45 minutes to get somewhere. That’s crazy! (My small town self might be showing.) And this is hard. If you’ve read my past posts, you would know I have anxiety/depression. So it’s been a struggle. Making new friends, always using the GPS on my phone, and trying to figure out what one-way streets are. (I’ve almost died in the last month I’ve been here.)
But despite it all, I’ve been relatively happy. Emphasis on the relatively. I’ve had my bad days of course, and I’ve cried way too much. In the last four weeks, I have had a respiratory infection and the stomach flu. I’ve started a new job, new classes, and a new routine. That’s a lot of change for a girl who hates change. But I’ve promised myself I’m going to stay in control. Not necessarily of what happens, but how I react to it.
I’ve had fewer panic attacks. When I begin to get overwhelmed, I pray. I make sure my to-do lists are in order and updated. I let myself be upset for ten minutes, and then I breathe and do what I can to fix it. But I’ve also had days where I’m drowning in sobs, I feel like I can’t breathe, and I’m ready to quit and go home. But the good days are better than the bad. And the smiles mean more than the tears. I’m trying to stay positive and see the blessing in every moment. I just hope that I can keep it up.
Stick to your roots,